Parking Wars aren’t as fun as Star Wars
People debate everything. Conservatives or Liberal. Leafs or Canadiens. Dog or Cat. These are all very common. Another common debate when I grew up was Star Wars or Star Trek. I was all-in on Star Wars. In fact, some pretty nice boys who considered themselves Trekkies, were excluded from my peer group. Even though my peer group was small, and probably could have benefited from some more people, Star Trek lovers need not apply.
Some of you maybe aware, but NTA over the last few years was in a major battle over the parking situation in front of the auction. Unfortunately, it caused me to lose faith in both the town I own a business in, and raise my family.
I am not going to mention all the idiot’s names. They don’t deserve my time. You can google the names in the media. So, I am going to tell the story using Star Wars characters. I will off course be Luke Skywalker (Don’t like it? Tough, its my story). My business partner is Hans Solo and his wife is Princess Leia. My other partner is Chewbacca. Oh, and North Toronto Auction, is the Rebel force fighting for what is right against those who control the Universe (or Town), the Evil Empire.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away the Rebel Force opened up its brand new, state of the art Home Base. Our new neighbour, Jabba the Hutt, approached us and wanted to form a partnership. You see, the Rebels had many customers and they were parking on the road when it got very busy. This wasn’t a big deal because everyone on the Rebels’ street was closed on Saturdays. This worked great because Saturday was the Rebels busiest day. But Jabba the Hutt wanted to make some extra money. He wanted to charge the customers to park at his palace. Afterall, he was closed on Saturday, so he had the space. The Rebels declined as they didn’t think their customers should pay for parking.
Jabba was mad. He wanted all the free parking on the street taken away. He didn’t get his way and he wanted to fight. He continuously complained to the Empire. Even though Jabba’s palace was closed on Saturdays, Jabba wanted revenge for being shunned. So, every time Jabba complained to the Empire (it was a lot) the Empire would try and work out an agreement with the Rebels But the rebels were relentless. They didn’t think allowing customers to park on the street was wrong. What is wrong with free parking when it affects no one? However, after tireless meetings with the Empire, the rebels wore down. This was 15 human years later. Luke, Hans Solo and Chewbacca finally decided they needed to move on. They were willing to make concessions for the good of the universe.
So, the Empire proposed a solution and the Rebels reluctantly agreed. Some of the free parking would be taken away, but some would stay. The Rebels wanted peace. The Empire was happy that Jabba’s complaints would stop. But Jabba had other ideas….
Jabba received very good news in 2018, a close companion Darth Vader, was elected to the Evil Empire. Jabba now had an insider in the Empire. Jabba was friends with Vader, and at times, even his landlord. Jabba spoke to Vader about the parking problem. Vader agreed to try and persuade his peers and go against the original recommendation of the Evil Empire. What’s more is that Vader didn’t tell the Rebels. In the Star Wars world, it is called gamesmanship. In the real world it called conflict of interest.
So, Vader convinced his cronies to change their mind and vote against the Rebels. The Rebels and Hans Solo argued and went to the media. Luke & Chewbacca confronted Vader at the rebel base, but found out what an unethical person he is. Vader and Jabba had won. Troopers from the Evil Empire, in confidence, contacted the Rebels to tell them they were cheated.
Han Solo was mad. He went back to his ship and told Princess Leia about the situation. Besides being a princess, she also worked in municipal law. She knew the relationship between Vader and Jabba was wrong. She made it a mission to find justice. Making appeals, writing letters, even posting to social media. The Evil Empire was too scared they would look bad. They wouldn’t correct the situation. In the end, the Evil Empire’s actions caused health issues for Leia. Luke, Hans Solo and Chewbacca told her to postpone the fight. Parking wasn’t worth someone’s health.
So, like in The Empire Strikes Back, Vader and Jabba won. You can’t park in front of the Rebel base right now. But the Rebels won’t give up!
The Rebels know they have been wronged, but sometimes the bad guys win.
But the Evil Empire has an even bigger problem. Bigger than the Rebels. They have to deal with a Municipal Election in 2022!
Oh boy, did I just hint at a sequel? …
Thanks for reading,